Friday, June 5, 2009 @ Friday, June 05, 2009
dont blame me..
so..i stayed over my nigga house for 2 days.
i havent been home much & its exactly what i needed
cause i one point i was having TOO much time by myself.
but anyways we was bored as shit earlier so she invited her little
friend over "girl he sexy" yada yada. he comes HES OKAY but lightskinned
& he need some height. we sit there bored, yours truely ALWAYS have to
entertain peoples friends since i like to talk and joke around. so i do
get them laughing. he stayed for like 2 hrs maybe. at the end he left
and texted her like "yo tell her she look good i wanna talk to her whats her #?"
lmaoooo this girl get mad im like "i dont even wanna talk to him hes not all that cute" so shes goin off like "i shoulda never let him come over here omg i hate fake ass niggas how he gonna wanna talk to you tell him to delete my # i dont even wanna talk to him no more" girllllll ONE dont show your jealousy to noooo kinda female
im pretty sure he thought yall was just friends, im pretty sure he was just tryna fuck because of how you put yourself out there and im pretty sure you're you never told him you wanted him. Claim what you think is yours. He was like ' i aint even trippin ' lmaooo. I mean ima just converse with him i dont wanna talk to him like that just for company cause im needin some these days. STUPID FUCKING BRYCE!
thats all i really fuck with males for, company, to chill..i dont want a relationship niggas dont know how to be straight up. plus, this is Indianapolis..no.
Some girls need to know the game cause she falls for it all the timeee. She get too attached and i always think "they gonna get tired of her ass soon" cause she so clingy. Its soooo sad when females have to reel in dudes by starting off convos about sex doing this and that cause at the end they just thinkin you a quick fuck and thats what you making yourself out to be. Girl they dont be wanna try to talk to you on a "She can be wifey tip" that rarely ever happens these days. I see girls do it to themselves all the time and i'm just glad i never put myself into that 'oh that bitch gonna get played' or 'i know i'm about to play her' position, cause i tell them upfront "if you just wanna fuck just say it and dont waste time tryin to get to know me cause i might be on the same shit" which i dont..but.. you know. So glad im not naive to relationships and dont trust any damn body but myself & him. "I think like a nigga so i dont get played like a bitch" as ignorant as that sounds its real as hell. Ive been vulnerable once and i was 15, NEVER again will i be played more than that, ever, trust.
Monday, May 25, 2009 @ Monday, May 25, 2009
only white bff
[11:42] its_shanae: im bout to be 19 =]
[11:42] Dakota ..: me too.
[11:42] Dakota ..: well 20.
[11:42] Dakota ..: damn ho
[11:43] Dakota ..: I've known you since you were like 12.
[11:43] Dakota ..: net dating raggedy busted bush heads and shit.
[11:43] its_shanae: LMMAOO
[11:44] its_shanae: @ 12.
[11:44] Dakota ..: forrealz.
[11:44] its_shanae: awww <333 @ us
[11:45] Dakota ..: i know
[11:45] Dakota ..: we're gonna end up losing touch for 10 years, coming back into contact and getting married.
[11:45] its_shanae: lmaooooo
[11:45] its_shanae: never.
one boy i can tell everything to.
Sunday, May 24, 2009 @ Sunday, May 24, 2009
My Twittascope: Cancer
Your moods may shift rapidly today, but you're self-contained enough so that others may not realize the scale of your unsettled feelings. Whether or not you express your emotions, make sure that you stay fully aware of them. Remember, there may be a price to pay if you attempt to distract yourself from your inner world as you hide your true needs from others. Sunday, May 24, 2009
ugh. i truely believe in Horoscopes. Moreso because they're ALWAYS right on.
I'm trying, man.
Saturday, May 23, 2009 @ Saturday, May 23, 2009
Im laying here cant fall asleep for shit.
lemme get these headphones and put on my song.
Letoya Luckett - Not Anymore, been playing this allll day.
haha, nigga, nobody needs $200 headphones, but really these shits is bomb!
I dont know what the hell is up with me. I really do sit and think
like "I'm losing it. I really have turned crazy". Like, if i thought
i wasnt before. I definetly feel that I am now. Crazy as in something
is wrong with my head. not that "oooh baby you driving me crazy".
I think keeping my feelings in, not being able to sort threw shit, not
knowing WHY shitis happening all like this. lol, im putting tears on the
laptop! this laptop is maddddd wide for NO REASON! its annoying the screen
is like the size of them flat screens mac computer. So ugly. But..ah.
Said im leavin today, wipe the tears from me face..if you feel me say..
somebody say i dont want it anymore. Sayyyyyyyyyyy.
If i think my life is a mess right now - growing up wise.. ah i could imagine
what ima be going through when i get older. I dont like to think of myself as
a weak person. But If i wasnt, i'd be able to handle this. Grown in age but honestly
not in my head. I still want shit handed to me and dont know how ima be without shit like that. "I know that its comin i just hope that im alive for it" I just wanna be..I just wanna be..
Hmm..i think this six flags trip tomm. will be good for being. Being away from indianapolis and as much as i miss my phone! i know its good for me.
I didnt tell baby i was going, actually i didnt talk to him today. He's gonna think im ignoring him but oh well. I didnt tell anyone for that matter, really.
People are missing from this trip though! 2. Whores! Couldnt make it. It would be 10x better with them.
I've made mistakes but i cant turn back time, im only human. forgive me, love me, save me...save me from myself. Im fragile and broken.
This song makes me think about my parents. I remember last year my mother saying "Nobody has dissapointed me more than you". And i knooooow i've fucked up big time and im truely truely paying for it.
I bottle all my hurt inside, i guess im living a lie..inside my mind each day i die..what can bring me back to life? a simple word, a gesture...
Thursday, May 21, 2009 @ Thursday, May 21, 2009
I find it amusing that im this big "mystery" to everyone.
No one can get a straight answer out of me - even my parents.
HONESTLY, i dont feel i have to explain myself to anyone about
anything, ever. "I dont get you" alot of people say. Nigga, GOOD.
Keep it that way. I dont get me either.
& LMAOO@ THIS nigga.Its really cute though.
How you go to me then straight back to her. I find it weird at the same time
though. Like DAMN that was quick. Its only been twice though, maybe its just
a coincidence? A big one. I find it now difficult to believe that just maybe
you were talking to her still that whole time. Its pretty obvious, actually now.
And you know what? I feel soooo stupid for opening up and being some niggas
back up plan. Thanks for my boo for opening my eyes. Lol that was so many weeks ago
but i just really sat down and thought about it. No way am i still stuck on it but..dang, homie! Maybe i'm delusional somehow or another. I've always felt i was in competition with some bitch i could NEVER compete with (as far as feelings go) just because your love for her was beyond your love for anyone else. Thats also funny on soooooo many different levels. Bullshitter, please. And to learnnnnnnn she be talkin madd shit behind your back? To some nigga? lmao ;[ and sometimes WITH that nigga? Maybe she was on some bitter shit, some venting shit though so i wont say nothing. Well..lol too late for that. I mean shes a female, females do that. Cant say i ever have though, you know..forever hold you down on some "who? him naw hes a really good guy" type stufffff. Who cares about all that now though?
Keyshia Cole looks too pretty on her "Trust" video, as well as Monica! The short hair cut is cute on her. Them big tattoos on they arms though. Ladies, ladies..
Dont look right with dresses/"classy clothing". Beautiful ladies nonetheless.
Im tryna see the Beyonce - Ego video. Cant seem to find it though.
I was suppose to be lying next to him today, this morning. BUT MY PLANS ALWAYS TURN AROUND ON ME BECAUSE OF MOMMY DEAREST. It was my second time letting him down. "I knew something like this was gonna happen" awww ;[. Next time, i'll just wait until i know for sure, for sure if something can pop off.
Lol, omg. Now i'm bout to be home all day everyday. I usually dont be home until later on the weekdays for sometime now. I'm really bout to go out my mind. Im tired of myself!
Wednesday, May 20, 2009 @ Wednesday, May 20, 2009
I'm a biggggggggg one. Talk alot of shit but im highly sensitive.
Well, I cry when i'm really pissed.
MY TWITTASCOPE WAS RIGHT. I was disappointed today. What was suppose
to be a good day turned into a fucking depressed one. Ya know, mommy
Anyways. OOOOOOOOOOOKAY @ IUPUI (college) online application $50. Promise
i cried a little while entering my bank card # in. I just had to come blog.
[sigh x346504396436]. If I dont get in i want my $50 back. Not even kidding.
All the other I applied for didnt charge. I thought online apps was always free?
I'm really in a college application filling out mood. LOL. Shouldve been did it
its MAY! I'm such a fuck up. I'm not gonna make it, lol.
LMAOOO@ I Now Prounounce You Chuck And Larry, Ving Rhames, the shower scene? hilarious. He plays them gay parts to the T.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009 @ Tuesday, May 19, 2009
exciting, hyper..happy, period.
YES. Like, fully. Tomorrow will be the end of a big deal.
Oh plus my check came Monday when it was suppose to come tomm.
May 30th hopefully me and my fav people + others will be going
to Kings Island. The driver said he doesnt matter the date too
damn quickly i hope he dont be on some bullshit that he has to work
or whatever. Everytime we plan something its always one thing holdin
us back either my overprotectivesafteyfirsttocatchapredatorlifetime watching
mother, or the person(s). Either way, i done got my hopes up so it better work
the fuck out! Was tryna go to a beach but lame ass Indiana doesnt have one.
Im laying here tired. Idk why. It feels good outside though.
TOMMOROOWWWWWWWWWW. ahhhhhh!! =]
Dang AS SOON as i walked in the house, took my shoes off purse down
went to sit next to my mom who was talkin to my dad about some flooring shit.
she turns to me and immediately starts talkin about what i need to do with school.
I said "OMG, i just walked in!" and got up. My fucking goddddddd. Can i sit down first? can i take my clothes off first? can i say a word first before you start nagging? PLEASEEEEE. Thats the reason why i stay upstairs, away from everybody. I really dont wanna hear all that. I dont.
i see my baby boo thursday. wooop! cant wait cause he been talkin TOOOO much shit.
LOL@ this new boy "Brandon" go figure. WHYYY are they all lame? ALL Brandons.
I wont say all, but i've fucked with 3 brandons. two football players = LAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEE, and this one, desperate. Lol you met me hours ago and expect me to honestly believe you like me like that already? Okay SURE it might be possible for some people. But really? First time talkin on the phone tellin me to touch myself? Really. Lol. I hope he never calls/text again.
Week going good so far.