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Monday, April 27, 2009 @ Monday, April 27, 2009

womp.

Ew i've been posting everyday, so unlike me.

Mad I joined Twitter when i said i'd never. and honestly
i like it..kinda. I wont ever admit whole-heartedly, so ha.
I can get on through my phone now too, woop.
Sunday I thought I was going to die on this carnival ride, i mean...
i got on it before but still. The holding the ride in the air with bars and shit holding you, just dont sit well. and I was soooo ready for it to end.
Long ass ride. I felt my skinny self lifting up when it went in the air backwards :(
I know before I got on it when dude was strapping us in i asked him
"You sure I wont fall out? i'm kinda skinny, you know"
he's like "Nah baby you aint goin no where"
My throat hurted so much after for screaming and laughing ..on that ONE ride - we originally went up there to see who was up there and
to get an elephant ear - I had fun with my boys though! Always, Always.
T thought it'd be a good idea to take a road trip to Kings Island and of course
i'm down. but dont wanna spend that much money..blah.

The Swine Flu, lordy. Its "getting closer" - in Ohio right now.
People being too dramatic. Same shit with the Bird Flu/MRSA and I was scared
of shit of those when they came about, not of this cause its just...being dramatized.

whatever though.

Saturday, April 25, 2009 @ Saturday, April 25, 2009

er.

I have all these clothes and nothingggggg to wear. How does that work?

i'm just ready for thee party. Told that ho not to even show up
dont like fake girls that only wanna come around nowdays when
shit is involved that she can benefit from. Funny cause she used to
be in LOVE with me and I got tired of her now i'm bitching about it.
With nothing to do! Was my partner in crime.
I wont be used by no girl, though. tuh.

i'm going to follow Jays suggestion and just get it over with.
sometime this weekend, LOL.

Friday, April 24, 2009 @ Friday, April 24, 2009

gee

Its 77 degrees BUT it doesnt feel like it, its cloudy as shit, as well as helllla windy. really now?

I'm in a good mood. So i have nothing to talk about.
Dang, i "pigged out" at CiCis pizza today - for lunch, swear it was like
15 of us. and all you can eat? omggg. I still was hungry after all
was said and done. mmmmmm.

6 more days, dude =/. Its always, always abnormal. BUT UNDERTHESECIRCUMSTANCES?
mannnnnn, come on.

but anyways. Recording Making The Band Finale so ..i'ma go catch that.

Thursday, April 23, 2009 @ Thursday, April 23, 2009

uh, no..

In the back of my mind all I can fathom is how much I'm gonna miss him.
And just because I'm cryin don't mean i'm the victim.
It's just that i'm too scared to let him go cause some other chick might get him.

It's my fault, should've never put my heart in my minds position.
I start pullin' out Tupac hits telling me to keep my head up
And R. Kelly picks about when a woman's fed up.
Cause I was down with him for so long, that I didn't think I could get up…
Till one day I got tired of sleeping on pillows my tears had wet up
And realized that life goes on....
And even though he didn't choose me, that doesn't make him right nor wrong
and just because he was the epitome of my life doesn't make me wrong nor right.

Chick is baaaaad.
;(

Only can receive calls cant text or read text i'm getting.
Aint this bout a bitch?
got a new oneeee. replaceable #2? my stepdaddy payed
for most i just payed $84. Im like really? yay. So i didnt
go half broke buying a phone this time. Little ugly shit though..kinda.

Pregnancy dreams i found out are a sign of new growth well..theres many
different interpretations. Maybe you are - which..uh, no.
or "A dream of pregnancy may signal renewal in terms of relationships;
this can be through the ending of one and the beginning of another."

I just think it was because i watched The Game 2 hours before i went to sleep
and Melanie and Derwin thought they were pregnant. hmph.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 @ Wednesday, April 22, 2009

..hm

UH..How do you let people down after you made plans with them? I'm going to see Obsessed regardless but i'm just not feeling going with another dude..anymore..for some reason. "Something came up" does that work anymore? Plus he kind of a bugaboo and i get tired of most dudes quickly. I'ma go out with my 3 girls, they want me to go with them anyways. def. going out to eat, cause i'm feeling some boneless wings from "Just Wingin It" <33. Movies gonna be crazy packed i already know. I want to go to Dave and Busters I'm gonna find somebody to take me one of these days. Mall too? I deserve some clothes and as i mentioned before my bank account #'s where its suppose to be at, so a LITTLE spending wont hurt.

So irritated by Bryce popping up yet once again after ...3 months? "Hey, this bryce" and i respond with "oooooh". I know hes gonna go off, im just waiting for him to wake up. He dont want it though, he too little for me to fight with it dont seem right. Strong, but not agressive enough. Need someone more violent than me. weird.

We bought my mommy this flyyyyyyy ass coach bag. Better be for $348. It looked like it was gonna be about $600, we were happy when the lady said that low of a price. She's super picky so its like a 50% chance she gonna like it. Whether she like it or not, i'm wearing it...like, period. Purse is so gorgeous. We'll find out Sat. of her suprise party.

I talked to him and i felt my mixed emotions just going wild. Its good I can hide it but bad cause I cant really get out whats needed to be said...i guess? without sounding so desperate. My pride a littleee bit much for that. I'd rather see him now than talk on the phone, big problem now. Really want to see him again and this time i wont be so boring cause i'd feel more comfortable. yaknooow? hope, right? I played this part over last night in my head and, LOL.

YOU THE FUCKIN BEST.....know how the song goes.

My food is awaiting me so..later.

Monday, April 20, 2009 @ Monday, April 20, 2009

hmph.

Va Friday since Sunday..ahh. took a thousand and one pictures. seen family i havent seen since i was little. My babies got sooooo big and my little one think she is so grown. I think they all hit at that stage at age 6, right? It was the twins (my mother/her sister) bday Sat. we went to Red Robins and i secretly told the lady that it was their birthday. So they came with the little desert and sung happy bday. It was cute. everyone was like "who did that?" looking clueless. I have a brilliant mind. Returned home back to the bullshit. Promise as soon as i walked in the house all these negative vibes - then i was unhappy for the rest of the day. I have issues out the ass and i'm extra dramatic about them.

Paintinggg <3 Wow. I really never liked it until now..I do it all the time and im actually good at it - aint no suprise. It relaxes me. That sounds so cheesy but it is sooo true. Takes my mind off everything. Music and that at the same time. I have no stress. I dont use my abilities much and i know that but i guess thats fine. "Hidden talents", right?

Dee told me i need to get out and do something out of the ordinary and out of doing things that i HAVE to do to get my mind off things. So i shall =] Its scary when i talk to him we ALWAYS end up like "damn what am i gonna do with my life?" Its hilarious. He calls me depressing =[ and i dont even try to be !

Friday - Obsessed comes out. Yesssss. Dion is gonna take me, but right now i'm feeling like i dont wanna go & I dont wanna stand him up with his lightskin self. But i NEED to, this will be good for me. I'ma do that and maybe go out to eat with the girls. Its gonna be 80 degrees so i plan to stay out all night. Ugh, i need this so much.

Life & Relationships just aint for me. I fell back on my talkingtoeveryboy shit and fell on my ass. Now i'm bored! Life is all just a setup that i dont wanna be apart of. How emo is that? Not on no suicide tip but on something where i just dont wanna do anything. Cause when i die..i dont need a job, a college degree, or money...or boyfriends. Hell.

Friday, April 17, 2009 @ Friday, April 17, 2009

sometimes,

i be deleting shit cant believe how depressed i be acting. which IS the only time i blog. anddddd this fucking shit wont let me change my layout and its irritating the shit out of me.

But anywayssssss. Its so fucking hot outside, pretty..but no. Its too much. I deposited my check today now i'm at the limit i want to be at! Bank acct. sittin pretty. I cant spend it on clothes/shoes so idgaf..which i might just cheat and do so. I have no spring clothes, that and i just cant stop spending when i have it. Which is why i'm in the situation I'm in.

speaking of fucked up situations. Lol..woke up to my phone going off with this text I KNEW was coming i just waited. Shoulda did it first on some petty shit, but you how..I was over it within ....30 minutes. I thought about the good things i just lost someone to sleep with at night time and someone to say they love me. Its all good though. My punkass dealt with it well, SURPRISINGLY. Maybe cause I understand. I always told myself i wouldnt trip over another nigga how i acted with my last bf of 2 years. Talk about a pathetic/weak girl? i asked my friend WHY they didnt knock that shit outta me. I'm not that kinda girl anymore though. It hasnt even been a day yet though, so hey. Right now? "I aint even trippin, shawty. I aint even mad" gotta download that.

O-m-g. I seen Elijaih today..Well I always do but we actually talked this time. LOL@ him just turning 18 last month, i touched his chin where hair is growing like "boyyy where this come from?" "Well you know, since i got 18 it popped up. What you think about it? I look good?" All i could do was laugh. CAUSE HE DIDD. Lord knows i love facial hair and boys with fitteds. And his dressing game came UP. We used to have the biggest crush on eachother -with his 3 year girlfriend having ass - until it got cold and i didnt come around his way anymore.

Uhhh..what else? nothing asssssss always. Bow Wows thinking about retirement.
What is the game gonna be without him?
:(